I shan't go into the details of what made me depressed, because it's all rather personal, and if it's all the same to you I'd rather save it for my diary :)
But two things I've learned about myself from this short period of downness:
1) It's possible for me to be low, emotionally speaking;
2) I can recognise that I'm not feeling tip top, and can take steps to fix my brain, which makes me very proud of myself :) (That's not to say anything disparaging about anyone who suffers really serious depression - their depression is their business, and mine is mine.)
So I've put all the negativity behind me now. I did it this morning, and decided that I'd like to get back to being myself. It's quite amazing that it's possible to just flick a switch and feel one's mojo return. Mmm. Good.
Suddenly, heaps of motivation, skiploads of ideas, bucketfuls of energy, none of which did I have yesterday. The first thing to do though, is get an early night, and approach tomorrow completely fresh and eager. There's a whole morning to fill with job searching and writing (I'm a single parent now, and have to find a job as quickly as possible), before an afternoon of Key Stage 2 maths (for helping my children with their homework - but I think I might sign up to do a GCSE in maths next September, just because). I think I will update blogs tomorrow morning, and take a look at one of my novels and decide which one to work on again (anything familiar here?!).
I'm volunteering at the boys' school a couple of afternoons a week now, and I kind of wish I wasn't. It's nice and all, but it's really going to eat into my week. The days pass so quickly anyway, but having to break off from productive stuff is a pain. Mind you, if I start to get proofreading work again I'll have to give up the volunteering - I suppose I could make use of the CRB check that school paid for by offering my services for a story club or something. I wonder if they'd let me do that. It could be for years 4 and 5 perhaps, the kids who can actually write properly so that we'd get some good stories out of them. I could teach them how to write a proper story over a term. Or maybe over a half-term. And then they could read them out at the end of term. Maybe they could read extracts from them in assembly. I think I'll do my volunteering for a while longer, and then perhaps put the idea to the head. I think I should get paid for that though!
Ha! See? No depression here now :) Motivated.
Ooh, ooh: I'm also supposed to be thinking about writing a script, after the inspiring BBC Writersroom workshop I went to at the Duke's. Yep, yep, I need to do that too.
And a short story. They're expensive though, on account of there being an entrance fee for most competitions.
Going to watch the end of A Time to Kill before I go to sleep. Nanight.
Oh no, before I go, here's a picture of me with Adrian Lukis (Mr Wickham from the 1995 BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice), which was taken by my mum in the Assembly Rooms in Bath :)
And me with Caroline Langrishe :)
I look like a moron in both photos, but at least you can see one of my dresses. There were five more. I'll show you those another time.